So there’s this dumb little fly I’ve been tying—well, calling it a "fly" is generous, honestly. It’s basically a wad of fluff that looks like someone dropped their lunch in the water. But here’s the thing: carp go nuts for it. Like, stupid nuts. First time I tried it in that grimy Brooklyn pond by my apartment, I swear three fish fought over the thing before it even hit the surface.

You’d think deer hair or foam (or heck, even torn-up packing peanuts, whatever) wouldn’t pass for food, but city fish? They’ve seen so many bagel bits tossed by toddlers that a white blob on a hook might as well be a five-star meal. I tie mine on these wide-gap hooks—kinda like the ones for bass poppers, but smaller, ‘cause you’re not imitating a whole baguette, just a soggy corner of wonder bread. Spin the hair or foam real tight, then hack at it with scissors ‘til it’s lumpy enough to look accidental. Texture’s key here. Too smooth and they’ll ignore it; too ragged and it sinks. (Learned that the hard way. First attempt looked like a drowned tissue.)

Weirdly enough, this thing’s useless on proper rivers. But park ponds? Canal carp? They’ll slurp it down like it’s their last meal. Probably because it is their last meal, given how often tourists feed them. Saw a guy once chumming the water with hot dog buns like he was at a duck pond—fish went berserk. Anyway, point is, if you’re fishing anywhere humans picnic, leave the fancy mayflies at home. Just chuck this sad little bread blob out there and wait.
Oh, and pro tip? Park carp fight dirtier than river ones. Fight me.